August 2015 – Delusional Thoughts From Fantasy Island

The Beginning of a Dynasty

August 18, 2015August 18, 2015 mengx001Leave a comment

Well, there is some news in case you didn’t hear it before (warning: self promotion):

Yes. My wife and I are having a baby. We look forward to having baby Zelda come into the world early next year. That being said, we wanted to satisfy our desire to write and chronicle this experience in a separate blog (she sometimes writes for Ghosts of DC, I like to write here). SO we started a separate site that is solely dedicated to all things baby Zelda called The Eng Dynasty. It’s pretty simple: go to www.engdynasty.com and sign up for updates, follow along, etc. Should be pretty fun. Don’t worry, I will continue writing here, it’s just the other site will have far less fart jokes. Let’s just hope I can keep up with the constant craving from my wife. It’s like K.D. Lang up in this bitch.

Sincerely,

Matt

Monday Thoughts

August 3, 2015August 3, 2015 mengx001Leave a comment

1. I am never interested in inspirational quotes posted on Facebook. I am VERY interested in what obscure radio station or hack motivational speaker it came from. Seriously. You live in Virginia and you are sharing poorly worded quotes about how you wished it was Friday from a radio station in Tulsa, Oklahoma. How does this bullshit spread? Pandemics have nothing on shitty inspirational quotes.

No. Fuck you.

2. I have a profound distrust of anyone who would openly admit to disliking Phil Collins. You sir/madam are a liar.

3. The greatest beverage on the planet is a cold can of Coke. I would also distrust anyone who prefers to drink soda out of the 20oz plastic bottles.

4. I think superhero movies are boring and predictable. They have moved beyond cliche and that makes me very sad. Superhero movies are the 3-D movies of the 90s, which are all inferior to the 3-D movies of the 1980s, namely Epcot’s “Captain Eo.”

5. Whenever somebody pressures me to watch something, it’s an almost guarantee I will not watch it. This is why I have yet to see Avatar, True Detective, or Game of Thrones.

ANOTHER BLOG

August 2, 2015 mengx001Leave a comment

I know what you are thinking. Here is this asshole who barely posts wants to tell you about another blog he has started.

Well, I think this time it is for a good cause. My wife and I wanted to write together about our new experience of being parents. We are expecting our first baby next February and wanted to keep a document about the entire experience. I give you The Eng Dynasty. Check it periodically.

I wrote the first post for it, World’s Okayest Dad.